Everyone thinks I dislike Cramer and they are mistaken. I don’t know him. The guy created the financial web so I have total respect for what he has created.

Bubble or no bubble, the guy pulled a bunch of shloymey writers to an IPO and a $500 million market cap. That’s the shizzle. He banked some serious coin off the public yutz’s and has kept his stock afloat longer than TWO Donald Trump companies while never stooping to the level of Cramer Cologne.

BUT……

Enough is enough. TheStreet.com can’t fail. It’s ‘Too Small’ to fail.

The company has $80 million in cash and no debt and a shitpile of traffic. It just has a useless model for 2009 and the market is screaming so.

I have people I like that work there and don’t mean to step on toes, but I have a plan.

1. Fire everyone save Cramer, Doug Kass and few of the successful Newsletter writers. It’s not about job performance, it’s about reality. Start with the Board. The Board should be ashamed and should have quit already.

2. Shutter New York. Just sneak out in the middle of the night. Phoenix is nice. Lot’s of empty buildings.

3. Relaunch TheStreet.com on WordPress and just nuke the piece of shit software and site they have going right now (Obviously this has to be ready to go before all the head count poleaxing).

4. Buy TradeMonster/OptionMonster.com and Stocktwits. Ameritrade just stole Think or Swim and with TradeMonster, TheStreet.com would own all the TV financial personalities with the wild hair Najarian’s. Cramer should cut their ponytails at the closing, not a dumb ribbon.

5. Sign a deal with Eric Bolling. Stud.

6. Create a 9 hour streaming LIVE Strategy Room for stocks and Cramer should show up on CNBC naked and screaming at Erin Burnett and quit. Than moon Dennis Kneale and piss in his coffee mug. Kill CNBC once and for freaking all.

5. Fire me too once Stocktwits acquisition closes. Cramer should do it live on Power Lunch.

6. I nominate James Altucher or Bill Bishop as CEO.

7. Cramer should retire from stocks and come work with me on a Financial/Technology venture Capital Fund or just buy Social Leverage.

Stock Price $20