Diet Coke exploded out of my nose when this FLY Headline crossed my desk near the close:

‘THE MARKET NEEDS STEVE JOB’S TO BE FAT’

Right now, it’s all about the state of Steve Jobs and how many soy burgers that fucker has been eating, over the last quarter. God willing, Steve will appear to be quite the plumper, helping stocks rip off the fucking whigs of asshole short sellers, first thing tomorrow morning.

Both of us are long to the gills of late in Apple and I have been trading it wildly as per my Tweets the last few weeks. Today was just ‘fugly’ action but I liked that we were selling off into the earnings. That’s quite different than the past FOUR years.

Even I suspected that a Steve Jobs is sick and here is our succession plan mention was coming.

Instead we just got super, nutty, amazing iPhone numbers. Who knows what the stock will do tomorrow or next week, but as I have been saying, it would take Steve Ballmer and Jerry Yang as co CEO’s of Apple to slow it down. Apple is bigger than Steve Jobs now and has plenty of fuel.

More importantly than Apple’s execution greatness though is the utterly pathetic bumbling of the leaders of it’s competitiors.

Apple could see all-time highs again by just staying in business while Motorola, RIMM, Microsoft, Nokia worry themselves to death.