I flew on a new US AIR A310 or something yesterday. It was new. I was in shock really. My barf bag was completely crisp and fresh. The planes were pretty much on time, and my bags arrived.

I was reading yesterday that AIG has approved $163 million in bonuses. I mean that seems fair because according to their attorney, they were promised..get this….CONTRACTUALLY.

Let’s see here, the government owns 80 percent of your ponzi shithole company and we are allowing bonuses because of a contract. It would be cheaper to kill every lawyer and executive associated with the bonuses at this point. The company does not need to retain anybody. It needs to be unwound and quickly.

Back to the wonderful airlines.

I don’t have the exact numbers, but our government could give Boeing a contract for 2,000 new planes for our use and promote travel and commerce instead of what we have spent on AIG. We could fund 50 new companies aimed at flight and communication, but no. We could have built fantastic new airports in New York City and other cities in need of an upgrade. Nope. Instead, our airlines have been the butt of our hate and jokes for decades.

They needed some big cash after 9/11, but in hindsight it was a pittance. Sure their CEO”s suck major assballs like most other CEO’s of the last 20 years, but keep the unions and limit CEO pay. It works better than banks.

I want my son to be a pilot because the airlines are going to be cool again. Chicks dig pilots as well. I am excited to be flying JetBlue today and catch up on some work and ESPN. Flying rocks.

I wish Apple and Amazon would open banks so we could get this bullshit behind us. I also will never hire a banker and I think they should have to put a special seal on their resumes going forward. It should be brown and blothchy and smell like a turd, which is what they have delivered us.

Do something American today…hug a pilot today and smack a banker.

PS – But don’t be dumb and buy their stocks