No joking.

If I was a competitor to Google, I would stop freaking out over YouTube (mini tsunami), because you may miss the REAL TSUNAMI.

I don’t know the order of acquisition, but if I was in charge of Google, I would be going for the FREAKING JUGULAR of TECH and the Consumer.

1. To keep people scratching their heads I would do a quick swallow of Zillow – JAB, JAB, CROSS! Zillow gives Google an entry into the biggest consumer market and YouTube gives Zillowers a chance to quicly put a tour up with all the facts. Throw in some personal touches and get the buyer out to see your home, with directions from Google and all the facts from Zillow.

2.3. and 4. 5. and 6. can all be announced on the same day. Apple, RIMM, Ebay, Akamai and Adobe.

Take a big picture of all the CEO’s flipping off AOL, Microsoft, Yahoo, News Corp, Diller and the Justice Department on the front lawn of GoogleCity USA :) .

Apple would likely have been hostile a few months back, but with Schmidt on Apple’s board, the SEED is in place. The rest get their huge payday and go away if they don’t want to play.

To ensure the deals go through – BUY TASER and arm the employees and LOCKHEED MARTIN to protect the Googleplex or Googleville.

What the hell – after taking a few weeks off, BUY PHILLIP MORRIS and shut it the fuck down so that people live long enough to enjoy all the toys! BUT – make sure you push through legalized marijuana. Let’s face it. How much more fun would surfing the web and YouTube be. Shit, you may not even have to buy Akamai, because the web will seem fast enough.

PS – I would than buy Chipotle’s because you need to feed eveybody :) !

PPS or PSS – Owning Sanofi – maker of Ambien – may be a little tuck in so that we could control everyone’s sleep habits. BUT THAT’S IT!

PPSS or PSSP or whatever – The new guys will be chirping about buying an airline. NEVER buy an airline. It would kill everything :) .